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Saying Goodbye

There is so much to say and so much that has happened. I don't even know where to begin. Saturday October 16th was the day of Clarissa's funeral. I felt busy preparing for the funeral. My best friend growing up and my sister surprised me and flew in for the funeral. I am so happy they could be there. Our parents were busy at work making preparations. The day before the funeral was very difficult for me. I felt like I was emotional all day long.

But Saturday rolled around and it couldn't have been more of a beautiful day. It was bright and sunny and warm. I felt happy and at peace. We got dressed and ready for the day and the house was busy with friends and family helping. Eric and I picked up our sweet angel from the funeral home and brought her to the church along with the casket.

We held her as our family came in to see her. We said our last goodbyes and lay her in the casket. The service was perfect. The words that were said and the music was so special. We all drove to the graveside. Eric and his father carried the casket. All the men in our family sang "Be Still My Soul" at the graveside after a dedicatory prayer was said by my father.

It was more perfect than I could have asked for. We thanked our Heavenly Father for helping make this day so precious and our whole time with her just so special. I was so happy to finally lay her body to rest. I will forever be grateful for the little blessing that came to our family. She has blessed our lives, we miss her so much but are comforted to know we will see her again.

Our little Clarissa

It has been a long time since I have written. Thank you everyone for helping us through this journey. As you know our little Clarissa was born on October 7th. We were so happy to finally have her arrive. Unfortunately she did not live through labor. The labor went well, although my epidural did not work, luckily there were no complications. When the doctor broke my water lets just say we had our towels ready. What we really needed were buckets! Eric and I figured I had around 2.5 gallons of water. Crazy! What a relief though. My belly shrunk down to a little bump. Clarissa weighed 3 lb 11 0z.

Both of our mothers were there during the labor. They were a great support and strength to us both. After Clarissa was born our families came in to see her. Maveric was not very shy and came right over to her to love her and give her kisses. We had wonderful nurses there helping us through it all. They stayed longer than their shifts so they could be there to help us. Thank you! We will never forget you.

Ashley from Knollmeyer photography came to take photos of our baby girl. Amy, our photographer who did our belly pictures and owner of Knollmeyer photography was out of town and not able to be there. We were sad but Clarissa decided to come early. We were so glad Ashley was there! We have such beautiful pictures to cherish forever thanks to them. We love you guys! Ashley was there taking pictures for a long time. Tami our tech stayed to take pictures as well with our camera. She helped Eric get her dressed for her little photoshoot. We had several outfits for her. Grandma says she had the photoshoot of a lifetime. And she was right.

Grammi drove up to see her too. We had 4 generations there. So great! We had such a wonderful time with Clarissa at the hospital. We stayed with her until the evening of the 9th. We took several pictures. We held her and loved her. It was such a special time. It was very difficult to leave her at the hospital when we went home. I had a hard time that night feeling the loss of my baby. A new realization sank in that she was no longer in my belly and I didn't get to bring her home. But our time with her at the hospital was so perfect. I was grateful for that.