We decided on her name just 3 days after the news. Clarissa Belle! We have liked the name Clarissa for awhile and felt like this suited her well. And I love the name Belle. Clarissa means 'Brilliant and Intelligence" which was a little ironic since she does not have a little brain, but I still feel her spirit is intelligence. So I didn't have a problem with this:) We felt like we needed to pick out a name quickly, first so that we could talk to her and refer to her name rather than "the baby", we also felt that we needed to do this quickly in case she passed away sooner than later.
It took me a little bit to get used to calling her by name but soon her name has grown on me.
It is amazing the emotions that you go through when experiencing something like this. Eric and I have both felt very peaceful in the beginning and so far. We have felt close to the Lord during this. He has made us feel the comfort of knowing that we will get to see our little girl again one day. This has made the process more bearable. Still there are times that are hard, preparing for the baby you are going to have, to pass on. I have had moments of guilt, feeling that it was somehow my fault. Moments of disbelief, and frustration. Feeling like I didn't want to do this, as if I had any control over the situation. But thankfully the Lord has been with us, Eric and I have each other. And Maveric is such a blessing, we can love and hold him and he is our comic relief for sure! We both have wonderful friends and family to rely on. I know this is another experience that will just bring us closer to one another. At times I feel very happy and I know it is because of my knowledge and testimony of the gospel. I feel we are and will get to experience the Lord's plan for us with such a close look.
I am so glad you guys started this blog. You guys are such a strength to us. I look forward to reading your future posts. What a sweet baby girl you have. We love you all very much!!
ReplyDeleteAndy and Krista
Thanking of you guys every day.
ReplyDeleteIt was suppose to read "thinking"....
ReplyDeleteDear Rachel,
ReplyDeleteI'm very glad you got the package. That is so wonderful that Eric wants to read the book together with you, I know you both will together have a spiritual experience in doing that. You've probably recognize the author's name, Blaine Yorgason, because he is a well known LDS author. This true story is about his own experience as the father of little Charity, who is "One Tattered Angel". I felt very inspired to send you the book and the special DVD and CD I made. I pray for little Clarissa every day and also for you, Eric, Maveric and our families. My prayers are for us to have strength, faith, hope, and for Clarissa to be healed and whole when she is born. Little Clarissa might be a little tattered when she is born, she might be a lot tattered but our prayers of faith and hope will surely be heard and more so because you and Eric have let the Lord to decide. You have offered yourself to the Lord’s will. You and Eric are doing a great act of faith and hope in the Lord's plan and you have chosen life for little Clarissa by carrying her and who knows what miracles you will be endowed. You are carrying her and the Lord is carrying you. You will be blessed, you most certainly will be. Sending lots of love and hugs to you, Eric, Maveric and our little Clarissa.
Love,
Aunt Milley and Great Aunt Milley
Dear Rachel,
ReplyDeleteI decided to post my previous comment here because you have many connections of love and prayers here and the more it is active then the more you will feel the love and prayers of all that are here and yes, I agree with you, you need this strength these next few months.
Rachel,
ReplyDeleteYou don't really know me, I'm one of Eric's cousins, Gail and my Mom are sisters. I just wanted you to know that my mom had told me about little miss Clarissa and you guys have been in our prayers. What a sweet little angel you must have in your family and what an honor that Heavenly Father feels that you two would be a great fit for her parents and her presence. It definitely is a comfort to know that families are forever!
Not to take focus off of her, but good luck with the summer! I hope you aren't too miserable retaining all that fluid! I haven't met you, but I can tell you're just simply amazing already!
I think my mom said you guys were in Rexburg, we are just in Pocatello, please let me know if you guys need anything or want to get together sometime!
Hugs!
Julie
Rachel my heart hurts for you. I am amazed at your strength through all of this. Both you and Eric are truly amazing parents and your sweet testimony is inspiring. Little Clarissa is lucky to have you and I'm sure is looking down with a big smile on her face knowing she will be with you soon. Thank you for sharing this again. Love you sweet mama
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