Just some thoughts

Well it's been awhile since I have written anything. Eric, Maveric and I are doing just fine. I was so glad to read your posts. Thank you for that. I am new at this blogging thing, I know it's sad, but hang in there with me! We are in the process of hopefully getting some pictures up too.

I am about 27 weeks pregnant now and definitely feeling it! I am extremely uncomfortable all ready, and I have three more months to go...ahhh! I can do it. Next week they will be doing an amniotic fluid test just to see how much fluid I have accumulated. I don't know if I have written already, but polyhydramnios is common with anencephaly babies because they don't swallow the fluid like a normal baby would, so therefore more amniotic fluid builds up. This may be why I am so uncomfortable already, but having a 2 year old to chase around could be the reason too:)

So much has happened in the last few months, but I will probably back track a little to keep up in chronological order.

Well it's been an emotional roller coaster since we found out. We started thinking about funeral arrangements. I felt really guilty about planning her funeral when she was kicking around in my belly. I thought it wasn't fair. But I knew I had to be prepared. My parents told me "there is nothing wrong with being prepared." So I started thinking of things I needed and wanted to do for Clarissa.

Another question I had in my mind was can I ask for a miracle? I knew I could but I didn't feel like it was right. I had felt the whole time that our little girl was coming here to get a body. The night we found out I did pray and ask the Lord to give her a brain if that was his will, but that I understood and knew that He was still a God of miracles even if she didn't live. Eric and I have felt at peace about our little girls condition. We are relying on the Lord, and what a blessing it is to know the He is by our side during this time. I read a scripture in Doctrine &Covenants 42:48
"It shall come to pass that he that hath faith in me to be healed, and is not appointed unto death, shall be healed."