This picture was actually taken just a few days before I went into labor, so I was about 36 weeks here.Well I am a little over 33 weeks pregnant. It is such a feeling of accomplishment every time we hit the "new week" mark. It has been a little difficult lately. I believe I am growing and growing, and my body is not adjusting well with the growth. Sleep is getting more difficult, but we just take it day by day. My clothes are slowly shrinking:) Or maybe it's because I am getting bigger!! I have moved on to wearing Eric's t-shirts.
We are excited to be this far along but we also realize that it is getting really close to delivery day. I have so many questions that just fly through my mind all of the time. Eric says I am nesting too because I have been trying to get everything cleaned and organized. I am trying to de-clutter since our families will be coming to stay with us. And a small apartment can get messy pretty fast. I always have a list of things I would like to get done. I am sure Eric is tired of it!
This last weekend I got very little sleep. My back hurt and I was just so uncomfortable. I felt ready to go to the hospital. I wanted to go into labor. This may sound rude, but I felt ready to move on with life. I just know how hard this is going to be and I wanted to start the process. It is amazing how impatient we get when we don't feel good. My mom said, "Clarissa may need to snuggle a little longer." It was when she said that, that I realized I was being selfish. It is okay if I am uncomfortable. So I told myself to deal with it. It is only a small moment in time. I don't want to regret anything, and I want to do what's best for Clarissa. Thank goodness the Lord is in charge because if we got what we wanted all of the time, I am sure we would regret some of those things we ask for. In a way I was happy I felt the way I did, because I felt like it was preparing me for the next step we are going to take. I know the flesh is very weak and often we may not see what the Lord is trying to teach us during these times where we feel we are waiting for the inevitable.
So I am trying to prepare myself not just physically but emotionally and spiritually. I am trying to enjoy feeling Clarissa move around. Sometimes it's difficult because I have so many other thoughts on my mind trying to prepare for her death. Mixed emotions.
I have been staying as active as possible. When I say active that means doing simple household activities. Like folding laundry or unloading the dishwasher. My legs are so weak because I have been so limited. If we go to the store or mall Eric pushes me around in a wheelchair. It is quite embarrassing. But I run out of breath so fast and I immediately start contracting. So if I want to get out, that is how we do it.
We are excited to be this far along but we also realize that it is getting really close to delivery day. I have so many questions that just fly through my mind all of the time. Eric says I am nesting too because I have been trying to get everything cleaned and organized. I am trying to de-clutter since our families will be coming to stay with us. And a small apartment can get messy pretty fast. I always have a list of things I would like to get done. I am sure Eric is tired of it!
This last weekend I got very little sleep. My back hurt and I was just so uncomfortable. I felt ready to go to the hospital. I wanted to go into labor. This may sound rude, but I felt ready to move on with life. I just know how hard this is going to be and I wanted to start the process. It is amazing how impatient we get when we don't feel good. My mom said, "Clarissa may need to snuggle a little longer." It was when she said that, that I realized I was being selfish. It is okay if I am uncomfortable. So I told myself to deal with it. It is only a small moment in time. I don't want to regret anything, and I want to do what's best for Clarissa. Thank goodness the Lord is in charge because if we got what we wanted all of the time, I am sure we would regret some of those things we ask for. In a way I was happy I felt the way I did, because I felt like it was preparing me for the next step we are going to take. I know the flesh is very weak and often we may not see what the Lord is trying to teach us during these times where we feel we are waiting for the inevitable.
So I am trying to prepare myself not just physically but emotionally and spiritually. I am trying to enjoy feeling Clarissa move around. Sometimes it's difficult because I have so many other thoughts on my mind trying to prepare for her death. Mixed emotions.
I have been staying as active as possible. When I say active that means doing simple household activities. Like folding laundry or unloading the dishwasher. My legs are so weak because I have been so limited. If we go to the store or mall Eric pushes me around in a wheelchair. It is quite embarrassing. But I run out of breath so fast and I immediately start contracting. So if I want to get out, that is how we do it.
Pregnancy is so hard at the end when you feel huge and can't move around, you are anxious for it to be over. That is how I feel right now too. That is good that you are doing what you can to prepare and enjoy these last few weeks of feeling her kick. It will be uncomfortable but I imagine you will cherish this time in the future. Take care!
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