Last week Eric and I started talking about the details of the birth. We are talking about inducing at around 37-38 weeks, unless we feel we need to wait longer. But part of us feels like we will have to induce no matter what. We feel that if my water doesn't break on its own and my cervix is not dilating then the best thing would be to induce. Babies with anencephaly don't have the hormones to say "I am ready to be born" because they don't have a brain. So my body will not recognize when it is time. We also would like the luxury of planning around her birth, unless she decided to come when she wants.
We have also started making funeral arrangements. Just working on the details. It is a very emotional thing to do. I have been playing it out in my mind how I imagine it will be. I have cried just thinking "I can't believe I am doing this." The dear lady we live with said that "It is an out of body experience." That is exactly how it feels at times.
I wish I could give you words of comfort right now, though I know there's nothing that I can say to remove the sadness you must be feeling right now~know that you are so loved, and clearly Clarissa Belle is too. In an odd way the Lord has brought you great blessings. Our prayers and many thoughts are with you Rachel. Cheers to Eternity and the great blessing and power of being Sealed together.
ReplyDeleteLots and lots of mighty prayers.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Aunt Milley and Great Aunt Milley
Eric and Rachel-
ReplyDeleteI think that you already have a sense of this, but I want you to know that Clarissa has blessed so many people in her brief, beautiful life, causing us to remember what is really important and strengthening our faith in the Savior and the Plan of Salvation. I believe that she has fulfilled her mortal mission by the way she has touched so many lives for good. The way the two of you have handled this trial with such faith and courage has allowed those around you to be touched by Clarissa's pure spirit, has given her the opportunity to do what Heavenly Father sent her here to do. Thank you both for being who you are and for sharing this poignant experience with us!
Love,
Liesel Martin